Some Help Getting Out of Work to Watch the Tournament
If you have
worked for the same employer for awhile you have probably gone through most
of your best excuses for taking off work for the NCAA Tournament.
Let’s face it
your grandparents can only die twice, so that takes care of two years. It
is a few months too early to claim a tax audit. A two day dentist
appointment doesn’t work.
I used to work
as a sales rep for a company and they were slave drivers. I would sneak a
small TV into my office and put it in my desk drawer and close it when the
VP of Operations would wander down to make sure I hadn’t dozed off.
The good news
is they were not sports fans and didn’t really know when all the sporting
events were that I would take off for, so they weren’t looking for my
excuses. The easiest way to get off of work for me was to just schedule a
business/sales trip during the first two days of the NCAA Tournament.
In March of
2004 I was in Memphis during the first round of the tournament. I camped
out at the Fox and Hound in Germantown for two days. I ate a lot of food
and smoked a lot of cigars, but I sure didn’t sell much for my firm.
When I finally
got out of sales to be a writer, I had less money but a lot more free time.
Life is always a series of trade-offs.
But you don’t
have to quit your job to watch some sports.
Now there are a
lot of you who do not have the luxury of scheduling a business trip so here
are my top 10 excuses for getting off of work to watch the NCAA Tournament.
10. I can’t
make it in to work today. My keys are locked in my car, my car is locked
in the garage and my wife is away for the week with the key to the
garage.
9. I won’t be
in today I have to get tested to see if I am the father of Anna Nicole’s
baby.
8. I won’t be
in for the rest of this week. I have to go to Pebble Beach to help OJ find
the real killer.
7. I won’t be
in for a few days. I have to go to Tennessee to help Al Gore fight global
warming.
6. I can’t
come into work today, the springs on my garage door broke and I can’t get my
car out.
5. I just got
called up by the National Guard; I am going to Iraq as part of that surge
thing.
4. You see my
girlfriend’s friend’s cousin, her mother is a total flake and her three kids
are getting taken away by Children’s Services and she is going to jail, and
my girlfriend is working. Her cousin is out of town, so you see I have to
stay home and watch them.
3. I can’t make
it in today; my aunt is flying in from Vermont. You see she has only one
arm and two pieces of luggage and needs me to carry the luggage.
2. Just don’t
go into work on Thursday, don’t call or e-mail, then on Monday call up your
boss and say, “Don’t pay the ransom, I’ve escaped.”
1. And the
number one excuse for missing work is…………………..diarrhea!!! Just the mere
mention of the word and your boss will immediately stop asking questions.
Now go check
those brackets one last time and good luck!
